Proverbs 17
“You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."
Regardless of who said it first or the exact phrasing, the point is…what offends us and our reaction to an offense says a lot about who we are. And, in a world that is soooooo easily offended and where gossip is prevalent, this is an area where we can notably set ourselves apart for God.UnderstandingA friend of mine used to always say one of his rules for life was “Do your best to never offend anyone…and never be offended.” While the above advice is good, there’s a good chance that, at some point in our lives, we will be offended. Verse 9 speaks to the fact that we get to choose how we respond to an offense – we are to cover it in love.9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.What does it mean to cover an offense in love? I believe it refers to how we see and respond to the offense. In a great book “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High,” the recommended response for any “offensive” situation is…“Rather than ask, ‘What’s the worst and most personal way I can take this?’ (leading to defensiveness), we should ask, ‘Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person think or feel this way?’ (leading to curiosity). It’s hard to feel defensive and curious at the same time. Finally, it takes us to the only place where the feelings can be resolved: The source (the facts and story behind the emotions).”First, we must frame it in the correct context – ultimately, seeking first to understand and believing the best about the person(s) involved; then, once appropriately framed, respond in love. To respond in love means to consider the person(s) involved – including their character and reputation – as you respond. If you cared about someone’s character and reputation, would you be quick to spread gossip about them, repeating the matter to everyone you/they know? Of course not! You would handle it respectfully, directly where possible and involving the smallest and most direct group possible where not. Life ApplicationWhen I look around and see people who live life, offended, I think how exhausting that must be. We find what we seek…and there will ALWAYS be something to be offended by if that is what we choose to seek out. May we choose to be different, a person of refreshing in our personal and professional lives – setting ourselves apart for the glory of God by choosing, instead, to respond in love. God, I thank you for the growth in this area in my own life. Thank you for the reminder that we can always choose to respond in love – being gracious and considerate, even in times of offense. May our response in situations we encounter this week be to your glory…another opportunity to be set apart and point people towards You. In your name I pray. Amen.To check out the discussion or to join in click here.- Rei